The Intimate Human-Chimp Relationship

The theory that humans and chimps may be closely related to each other than chimps are to gorillas or orungatans has just become even more compelling. Our genetic makeup shows that around 98% of our genes are exactly identical to that of a chimp, however it is the crucial 2% that distinguishes us in our looks – i.e. the chimp has a full coat of fur whereas humans do not. The media portrays this regularly as “the humans are just smarter chimps!”

Experiments have even been done to show that chimps have a similar IQ ratio in mathematics to that of humans. And although human brains are larger, brain size has little to do with intelligence. Men have larger brains than women, but few would suggest that men are more intelligent than women.

From a biblical standpoint, all this is complete rubbish. God creates both chimps and humans separately and there is no such linkage genetically. Our makeup is spiritual in nature and has nothing to do with our genes. A religious activitist will say that man’s capacity to create art, to express himself in music, and to be able to be taught to think in these areas is not a product of our intelligence. Severely retarded humans frequently demonstrate extraordinary ability in these areas.

I personally follow both standpoints. I absolutely have great faith in understanding that humans and chimps have a deep relationship that boils down to similar gene maps, however each individual and chimp has personal uniqueness. And I believe that this uniqueness comes from one’s spiritual makeup. Science can argue that one’s uniqueness is due to genetic mutations but to my understanding, same mutations can occur to more than one person.

Spirituality is not at all religion. To me, spirituality is a sense of meaning and purpose, a sense of self and ‘that which is greater than self’ – my inner being. It is a way of living that emphasises a constant awareness of the surroundings whilst being absolutely present and whole in each moment. This spirituality brings out my uniqueness.

I am unique in that I have a varied interest in life – genetics, personal development, music, drums, spirituality and great awareness. I love to form effective relationships and this is another uniqueness of my being. I am a passionate musician; and although playing quite similar to various drummers, I’m still very different in the way I play. This is my uniqueness.

What is your uniqueness? What is your ‘personal identifier’? How do you want to be remembered? What is the one special thing about you or what you do that you want to stand out? I like to put ‘being unique’ as the need to exist for something different from anyone else. As you understand that you are fully unique, you will be able to fully appreciate other individuals for what they are and their absolute uniqueness.

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Being A Victim Is Easy!

Think you’re a victim, and you will be one. You’ll feel the hurt, pain, abuse and continue to focus on the negativities whilst losing yourself in the problem. You’ll continue to point yourself to the unhappy circumstances you face and you’ll attract more of that.

Think you’re not the victim, and you won’t be one. You’ll feel positive, effortless and happy about the situation you’re in. You’ll find reason to move forward and continue on your journey of personal success.

My point here is that you have the choice as to whether you want to be the victim or not. Our society today puts a lot of focus on the victim and the guilty ones. They shine the torch so much on the victim that he/she begins to really feel like a victim and then finds it difficult to move out of that label.

On several occasions, I have fallen “victim” to everyday situations. There was a time when I nearly got mugged for my mobile phone near my home and as you can imagine, I was really cautious and fearful of any movement on the road a few days after. Last year, I had fallen “victim” to a large scam and am now dealing with the consequences. At that point, I saw “victim” like how the majority of people see it. I felt the consequences, pain and hurt that comes with that label. When I realised and changed the meaning of what happened in those situations, I was able to live more purposefully and see how everything fits into the life that I’m creating for myself every moment.

When we realise that we have power of everyone and everything external to us, we will be able to say that we are not the victims. Nothing and no-one can make us victims. Although what happens to us is many a time out of our control, the way we respond isn’t. By taking charge and responding in the most effective way possible, we hold the power to accept complete responsibilty for anything that happens. We are totally responsible for our thoughts, feelings and actions.

“A man may fall many times but he won’t be a failure until he says someone pushed him.” – Elmer G. Letterman

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How do we find peace of mind in our choices?

My post “Death Row Lessons” on 16th February 2006 was well received. In my WordPress stats page, I was able to see that over 40 people have read it to date. One person, Kim P. from America sent me the email shown below.

Hi Kavit,

Thanks for your post “Death Row Lessons” – I really enjoyed reading it.

I have one question though. When I have to make a choice between two things – A and B – I seem to have two conflicting voices in my head. I want to feel a peace of mind in my choices and not have two separate voices chatting to each other after I have made my choice.

What do you think about all this?

Thanks,

Kim P.

Thanks for your email, Kim. I feel that whenever we find a situation to be painful or scary, our unconscious so easily brings out our conditioned defense mechanisms that take us to what feels most comfortable. In everything we are doing, we need to realise that we need to strive for the potential to change and therefore move out of our comfort zone. I personally need to get better in what I am doing, and with this belief and intention, I have seen it manifest very slowly everyday. Tony Robbins calls this principle CANI!

A part of you wants to grow and change. Let’s say I was presented with a choice of purchasing either a bright red sports car which uses a lot of petrol and will be more expensive, or a nice small car which is cost-effective and efficient. Which one would I go for? Personally, I’d want the sports car, however, at the same time, I have the conflicting chatter in my mind of why I want the sports car and its reasons debated against the reasons of getting the smaller, more “normal” car. I have had the nice small car so I’m comfortable with it, but I haven’t had the sports car before so I feel a little scared even though I’m going to push my barrier and get it.

So let’s say that I went ahead and I bought the sports car. For the first weeks, maybe months it’d feel really nice and good that I’m sitting in such a beautiful machine, but then, the feeling would wear off and I’d wish I bought the smaller car because, overall, it would be better for my local travelling and also cost-effective rather than the lavish sports car. At this point my conflict is still there and there is no real peace of mind in what choice I had made. I don’t feel happy with this.

What should I have done? What should I do?

If you find you are getting anxious, fearful, angry or frustrated, then defence mechanisms are at work. Watch for them and know them to be signs of fear that want to hold you back. Then courageously move through them. Don’t let it sabotage your potential for change.

What I have learned is to believe that I really do know the way, and this has helped me to really be content with whatever choice I make in the moment and feel an immeadiate peace of mind all the time. I trust so much in the power of my heart. I know that what I need to do next will be told to me by my gut feeling or instinct – this is the power of my own inner guidance. All I have to do is listen and then take that one step further and trust what I hear.

When I am presented with a choice, I will take a moment to review it and look inside to see what feels most right. So at this moment, I cannot tell you whether it feels most right for me to get the sports car or the smaller, more “normal” car, because I am not faced with that situation. When I am, I will review and consult my heart before making the right decision for myself.

Melody Beattie once said, “I never know what the next lesson is going to be, because we’re not supposed to know; we’re supposed to trust ourselves to discover it.”

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Have you stopped dancing?

Depending on your level of curiosity, I can tell you whether you are still dancing or not. I have no special powers. I am no magician or no such reader of your life. But I can still tell.

Do you remember when you were a kid? You possesed awe and wonder for this world. You wanted to visit and see everything. You wanted to know what this was, what that was and you wouldn’t let it be without being told. The Zen call this “beginner’s mind”. As a child, anything was possible. If you think about it, you had no real limitations. Life becomes worth dancing to.

And then, comes the turn for most people. We all go through various education systems that make us adults – we stifle our natural joy and we lose the curiosity. Our motivation lacks and at the end of the day, we are tired and not eager to get curious about the world. We lead what we call a “normal” life without real passion. Our innate appreciation of life is gone.

It is at this point where you have gone from living life to existing in life. As a child, you really lived life – curious to the point until you were tired and had to get to bed. As an adult, you are now just going by a set routine and aren’t able to really do the things you enjoy – the passion is burnt out. You are now existing.

Does this sound like you? Well, as stated in this post, life really is able to oscillate until you’re ready to plateau. The blessing is that with simple appreciation, attention, patience and love, we can begin to dance again. Our curiosity can be reawakened, and life really becomes worth living in – not existing.

Give yourself the space you deserve, away from demands, deadlines, expectations and judgements. Give yourself enough time to really be the child you are. Live life and explore it the way you want to. Free time, with absolutely no agenda, is rich with potential. How can we grow if we have no space and freedom to dream? Give yourself this time and you shall no longer be existing.

I like what John Holt has to say here: “No one can find his work, what he really wants to put all of himself into, when everything he does he is made to do by others. This kind of searching must be done freely or not at all.”

People with real curiosity and awe for this world and it’s potential stand out. So too are those who have no curiosity. They stand out – and in very different ways. And as I wrote at the beginning, that is why I can tell if you are really dancing or not.

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Successful Marketing

You can only say that you have successfully marketed when you see that you have built great relationships and got results through that. In the last two years, my learning and understanding of the business world has increased dramatically as I’m actively developing my musicians’ coaching business. In that time, I have joined up to over 12 different e-courses offering to help me develop my marketing plan and relevant skills, however, what I’ve noticed is that their all talking the same thing. Every single one of them has focused on saying the same thing and getting the same message across. The message was simple: get focused on your niche, develop credibility through consistency, know your competition and target market and then breakthrough by staying on top of it.

For me, each and every client I have worked with has come through my newsletter. The process is simple – they visit my website, fill out the little box that informs them that they’ll now receive my fortnightly newsletter and simply, sit back and receive it every two weeks or so. With that, I was able to build some kind of relationship. I say this because although it made contact with them every two weeks, it seemed to be impersonal but managed to give them a taster of my work. There was only the odd one or two people personally replying.

I remember back this time last year (Jan 05), I worked on developing a thin workbook so that musicians can benefit from some real coaching through the workbook at a low cost. I only intended that the workbook be a test and that if it’d be successful, I’d focus on something greater. I also wanted to get more copies printed to give them out for free at my workshops, but that all fell through. At first, the workbook sales rocketed but with little or no marketing at all, I wasn’t surprised to see no sales whatsoever. The greatest lesson I ever took from that period wasn’t to just market, but rather, if I’m going to put time into something great, I’m either going to go full out and work on making it major (no such thing as testing!) or just offer the whole load in a nice package for free!

The amount of time I can give to my business is about 7-8 hours a week because of other committments I currently have, and I like it the way it is. This means that I can only work with a small number of clients, and have time to devote to building relationships as well.

A year later (Jan 06), I was fortunate enough to get some information about my coaching and how I can help musicians in an email and sent to the ArtistManager database which holds over 40,000 artists and managers. From that came another burst of musicians on my database and more individuals to build relationships with.

A few days after that, I realised that I have a whole load of content literally sitting around. What could I do with it? I figured that the best thing was to create a long eprogramme that would serve musicians and also help me continue to build relationships. By this time, I had learnt that my potential clients are the 2,500 odd musicians on my mailing list so it’s important for me to focus on giving them all I can in the best way possible. I then created the eprogramme called Music Success 101 using all the existing content and archived articles, and then I just formatted it. I joined Aweber for £12 a month and I didn’t mind paying it because of the results that would come from there.

To date, over 100 musicians from 19 countries are now receiving my 120-day long eprogramme. My email goes out to each person in a personal format every four days or so and to see the number of replies that come back from each message is really outstanding. There’s actually been one musician who has replied to each and every email. Of course, I reply back and this creates great relationships. What it also does is keep my name in their face for 120 or so days and by then, I’m quite excited to see how many musicians will become clients from that. I offer all this for free so I also understand why individuals show a lot appreciation in their emails.

For me, this is succesful marketing. I base my life around building fabulous relationships with everything I come into contact with – people, clients, newsletter subscribers, nature, water, ocean, animals, etc. I believe that if the people in Thailand had greater relationships with Mother Nature, they would have responded well to the Asian Tsunami in 2004. So too with hurricanes Katrina and Rita that struck the USA in 2005. A great example of relationships was with the marine rescue team and the whale in London’s River Thames last month.
For me, as long as I continue to build great relationships, I do not have to sell myself. I want individuals to realise what I can provide so easily that they trust that I can help take them to the next level and I know from this, the number of clients will increase in the near future.

I am proud to say that Music Success 101 has been a great hit in its early days, and I can also say that when it’s time has come to lie low, the universe will spark something else within me, for it is my purpose to be working with individuals to expand their horizons by raising their awareness and state of consciousness.

A Million Little Pieces

Last weekend, I completed reading James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces“. Branded as a non-fictional autobiography, I feel it is written in a very fictional way throughout telling the common story of the tough-guy who is an alcohol and drug addict and combats this in a drug clinic and comes out stronger!

All in all, I think this is a riveting book! It allows one to take a look at the horrid experiences of individuals who travel their life journey spending some time in an drug addiction clinic in order to overcome their problems and lead a beautiful life without touching such substances.

I particularly like the way James starts his book. The initial chapter puts you in the middle of his life, portraying the nothingness that existed before it brings you and him to really understand he got there. James is a ten year drug addict! There is also great writing about James’s dental experience in which he underwent the most excrutiating dental operations without anaesthetic. He captivates the reader with his strength and will to overcome his current situation.

The drug clinic has claimed that no-one can get out drug-free without being part of a group called Alcoholics Anonymous – something which James is reluctant towards and has no intention of following. He shows to the clinic, others and himself that with strong will-power, strong intentions and clear vision, it really is possible to stay strong and away from being a criminal, drug and alcohol addict.

Something I learnt very well was the meaning of friendships. James Frey met and made many different kinds of individuals with various working backgrounds in the detox who then became his friends. It is these friends who brought him into a higher state of being and helped him get out criminal trouble and reduced three years jail sentencing to just three months. Although he knew it was of their doing, his friends hardly accepted the gratitude.

Another essential part that also makes this book a great self-help book is the fact that there’s a psychologist at the drug centre who has a good working relationship with James and shares great insights that can help anyone get better on their path of recovery.

In the last month or so, there has been a lot of critiscism to say that James has made a lot up about this book and some real individuals in the book haven’t been registered for dying in the way James has mentioned. Although James Frey has mentioned that a lot has been exastered for creative and author writing purposes, his books that go to print from February 2006 all contain a disclaimer – a useful tool to have for authors nowadays!

Does your life oscillate or plateau?

For a few days now, I’ve been thinking about oscillation and plateau. I flicked through an old mathematics textbook and saw an oscillating graph that brought up this thought pattern within me. Like everything, I related it to personal growth and asked myself, “what can this teach me about personal growth and developing myself?”

Thinking about it all, I wondered just how my life would be if it were oscillating – regular moments of happiness equalled out by regular moments of unhappiness. I also thought about my life as a plateau – at the top of the scale with happy moments all the time – or the opposite – a plateau with sad moments all the time. Which one would I want? I guess the answer here isn’t so tough. Think about your life for a moment. Does it plateau at a sad or happy frequency, or does it oscillate between both?

Some can argue that having a plateau is absolutely boring and that in order to experience a good, varied life, I need to be leading one that oscillates. I, on the other hand, disagree. For me, the perfect place to be residing is at a plateau of total happiness. At the same time, I can easily grab what life has to offer me by being true to myself and by responding with great thought so that I don’t release any negativity. I follow what the Law of Attraction preaches: “that which is like is drawn unto itself.” If I react negatively and allow the plateau to oscillate towards the sadness, I am sending out sad thoughts, and will in turn, attract sad experiences.

I am striving to live a plateau of happiness – one where I can honestly be myself and also be at a higher vibrational frequency. Currently, I’m sitting near the plateau with a few more bumps than I’d like but I know I’m doing what I can to work on achieving that position for my life.

What are you doing about it? Firstly decide with the three options that are present where you ideally want to be – do you want to live a plateau of happiness, a plateau of unhappiness or an oscillating life? – then assess your situation and see what you can do to get where you want to be. If you’re aiming to be at the plateau of happiness, start to notice how you are reacting to situations and analyse what you are currently doing. If what you are doing is leading to negative experiences, change how you view them or do something differently. If you are always reacting rapidly and hastily, slow down, think about your response and then happily respond in a way that is right for you. Feel free to say no when you need to – don’t be afraid to do so. Always stay connected to all situations, but remain detached from most.

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Death Row Lessons

I cannot share lessons from a death row experience simply because I haven’t been on one, however I was fortunate to be sitting in a calm and tranquil environment last Thursday evening and listening to a courageous man who had been on the death row for nearly 18 years for a crime he did not commit!

At London’s St Ethelburga’s Centre for Reconciliation and Peace, I was fortunate to be in a crowd of around 40 people who had the chance to listen to Juan Roberto Melendez-Colon speak about his experiences on the death row where he spent 17 years, 8 months and 1 day before he was released for a crime he actually did not commit.

Around 20 years ago now, Mr Melendez was sentenced to the death row for execution when he was put down as guilty. 17 years later, he was released because he had an attorney come to his side and dig up tons of evidence including video tapes of the real murderer! Juan now travels the world giving such talks as well as lives in South America with his “mama” pursuing his call in life! It is also his biggest wish to see the death row abolished in whatever time he has left.

The biggest message I was able to take away from his talk is “choices.” Juan put a lot of emphasis on understanding that each and everyone has a choice. He said he made the choice to forgive those who got him in their for nearly 18 years because it was his choice. If he chose to continue being angry, it would only hurt him inside and so his choice was to forgive. He spoke about times on Florida’s death row where he nearly gave up, thought of suicide and just didn’t see the point. But what came to his rescue were letters from his friends and family – especially his “mama” who wrote to believe in himself and in God and that it would be okay. Well, as he has shown, he made the choice to follow his “mama’s” words and so he was freed!

Each and every one of us have a choice. A choice to make out how we live each moment. In this moment of writing, I have chosen to write this post. Two days ago, I was my partner’s “servant for the day” on Valentine’s day – another choice I made. It was my choice to start a business at the age of 17. It was my choice to also go to university to study genetics – a topic that’s passionate to me.

If you are not doing something at the moment based on choice, you will not enjoy it (maybe in exceptional circumstances, you will!) but the matter of the fact is that, one only enjoys what is close to their heart and passionate with it. I chose not to continue studying physics after my GCSE examinations because I did not enjoy it. At the age of 14, my parents told me to study Business and for two years I did. I didn’t enjoy most of it, because although I had a choice, I didn’t grasp the choice well enough. I can say now that the business skills have been extremely useful all the same.

If there’s enough passion and action behind your choice, you will always succeed. I recommend visiting Juan Melendez’s website at www.voicesunited4justice.com and getting involved in any way to abolish the death row.

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Your Moving Torso

Do you remember when you were a child and you were learning to walk? Do you remember you walked two steps, and then you lost your balance and fell? The majority of people don’t remember because they are not conscious of it and feel they don’t have to be.

I invite you to try this basic exercise before I reveal a bit more…

Find a place where you’ll be at peace and it’ll be quite – it could be either indoors or outdoors. Make sure there is no unwanted interruption. Embrace yourself for a learning that you thought you’d never have to come back to. Get ready to learn one important thing that your subconscious mind does acting through your body – something so simple you might not have even realised.

Stand in a space away from disturbance with your feet slightly apart. Look at a spot on the ground just a few inches in front of you. Keep your eyes open. Let your hands hang by your side and relax. Remain peaceful and calm. As you stand there, I want you to begin observing your body. Become aware of your stance. Become aware of the tiny shifts that are taking place in your body as you breathe. Notice the varying pressure in your toes, feet, legs and upper limbs. Can you feel your body swaying slightly forwards and backwards and from left to right? Notice the light movements in your torso and arms as you shift to maintain balance.

In your day-to-day life, unless you consciously pay your attention here, you are so happily unaware of such movements, right? Luckily, your subconscious is aware of such things because if it were not, you’d simply fall down when you sway. Why don’t you remember what happened and how you walked and feel when you were a toddler? The answer is really simple – it’s because you don’t need to remember. You have been gifted with a wonderful subconscious and have taken away any responsibility from consciously learning like that.

It’s all fine to let your subconscious take care of such things, but once in a while it is absolutely vital that you consciously pay attention and listen with awareness to what your body and it’s organs are saying to you. As you become aware of them little by little, you may find some interesting things begin to happen.

Go ahead and try this. You don’t even have to have great time for it. Try it when your standing at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to come. Try it whilst standing at the train platform. Try it when you’re waiting for a friend at the top of their road. Try it when you’re waiting to be served in the supermarket. Simply feel the difference.

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Servant for the Day

I find most material things meaningless, unless I know that it’s really, and I mean really, going to add value to my life. At the weekend, I was thinking about what I could do to make this Valentine’s day (today!) really special for my partner. I remembered a few months ago when I was reading Steve Pavlina’s post and then it sparked to me.

Today, the 14th February 2006, I devote my whole day and time to my partner! I shall do whatever she wants, the whole day, and just for this day. I won’t work on any of my stuff unless I’m allowed five minutes off and time to have my meals. The whole of today, she can have my time. Promise. It’s only for the day, so I don’t think she’ll have enough time to plan out what she wants me to do so she enjoys the luxury, but I think that’ll be better because it’ll have even more spontaneity.