How do we find peace of mind in our choices?

My post “Death Row Lessons” on 16th February 2006 was well received. In my WordPress stats page, I was able to see that over 40 people have read it to date. One person, Kim P. from America sent me the email shown below.

Hi Kavit,

Thanks for your post “Death Row Lessons” – I really enjoyed reading it.

I have one question though. When I have to make a choice between two things – A and B – I seem to have two conflicting voices in my head. I want to feel a peace of mind in my choices and not have two separate voices chatting to each other after I have made my choice.

What do you think about all this?


Kim P.

Thanks for your email, Kim. I feel that whenever we find a situation to be painful or scary, our unconscious so easily brings out our conditioned defense mechanisms that take us to what feels most comfortable. In everything we are doing, we need to realise that we need to strive for the potential to change and therefore move out of our comfort zone. I personally need to get better in what I am doing, and with this belief and intention, I have seen it manifest very slowly everyday. Tony Robbins calls this principle CANI!

A part of you wants to grow and change. Let’s say I was presented with a choice of purchasing either a bright red sports car which uses a lot of petrol and will be more expensive, or a nice small car which is cost-effective and efficient. Which one would I go for? Personally, I’d want the sports car, however, at the same time, I have the conflicting chatter in my mind of why I want the sports car and its reasons debated against the reasons of getting the smaller, more “normal” car. I have had the nice small car so I’m comfortable with it, but I haven’t had the sports car before so I feel a little scared even though I’m going to push my barrier and get it.

So let’s say that I went ahead and I bought the sports car. For the first weeks, maybe months it’d feel really nice and good that I’m sitting in such a beautiful machine, but then, the feeling would wear off and I’d wish I bought the smaller car because, overall, it would be better for my local travelling and also cost-effective rather than the lavish sports car. At this point my conflict is still there and there is no real peace of mind in what choice I had made. I don’t feel happy with this.

What should I have done? What should I do?

If you find you are getting anxious, fearful, angry or frustrated, then defence mechanisms are at work. Watch for them and know them to be signs of fear that want to hold you back. Then courageously move through them. Don’t let it sabotage your potential for change.

What I have learned is to believe that I really do know the way, and this has helped me to really be content with whatever choice I make in the moment and feel an immeadiate peace of mind all the time. I trust so much in the power of my heart. I know that what I need to do next will be told to me by my gut feeling or instinct – this is the power of my own inner guidance. All I have to do is listen and then take that one step further and trust what I hear.

When I am presented with a choice, I will take a moment to review it and look inside to see what feels most right. So at this moment, I cannot tell you whether it feels most right for me to get the sports car or the smaller, more “normal” car, because I am not faced with that situation. When I am, I will review and consult my heart before making the right decision for myself.

Melody Beattie once said, “I never know what the next lesson is going to be, because we’re not supposed to know; we’re supposed to trust ourselves to discover it.”

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